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Boundary issues can cause us a tremendous amount of anxiety. Boundaries refer to your sense of self, to what makes you "you." They relate to how "you" interact in the world. What's important to you? How do you navigate your relationships? Every relationship involves give and take; your sense of boundaries define when, where, and with whom you'll give and where when, and from whom you'll take. Defining and maintaining boundaries can be extraordinarily difficult, often causing high anxiety. Read on for information about two ways that boundary issues can cause anxiety.
No one likes to mess up. But for those of us with a mix of obsessive-compulsive disorder and perfectionism, we can become debilitated by the guilt and regret following a blunder. Our brains are stuck on the stupidity of our actions, rehashing the events as if doing so will change what happened.
My nighttime anxiety strikes right before going to bed. Many times, sleep is delayed or even prevented by my anxiety. I tend not to enjoy nighttime, because I know that I'm going to feel anxious as soon as my head hits the pillow.
When I'm laying in bed, there's nothing distracting me from the thoughts racing through my mind. Most of the time, my head is full of negative criticisms of myself.
When it comes to better understanding and treating addiction, we can learn a lot by looking at a person’s coping mechanisms.
Conventional wisdom tells us that a certain number of negative experiences are just part of life. Things don’t always turn out like we hope they will; we are sometimes disappointed in ourselves and others. The question is not if you will go through hardship at one time or another in your life, but, rather, how you will handle it.
Low self-esteem affects your social life, among other things. When you have a low opinion of yourself, you can become painfully self-conscious, feeling worried that others will also judge you. For this reason, many people with low self-esteem will go to efforts to distance themselves from social situations, which – in the long run – can worsen low self-esteem. Here’s how having low self-esteem can get in the way of socializing and what you can do about it.
All relationships go through ups and downs. It’s normal. They are made up of two imperfect people trying to make it work together. But when you add addiction into the relationship it takes those “normal” ups and downs and turns them into a wild rollercoaster that leaves you feeling like you are barely hanging on. The good times provide you with just enough hope that you start to believe it really is going to get better. But then a bad time comes and you aren’t sure what to do.
People with addiction issues are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors we have reinforced for years.
I spent years violating boundaries as a drunk. Particularly when it came to relationships. Piss me off and I’d become belligerent. Let me drink all night and I’d throw up on your carpet. Invite me to a party and I’ll embarrass you in front of your friends. Weddings? Absolutely! Sign me up as the drunkest attendee. For drunks, the people who let us violate their boundaries are the ones we come back to over and over again.
What is catastrophizing in depression? According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology,1 to catastrophize is "to exaggerate the negative consequences of events or decisions." I define it as freaking out over little-to-medium crises or unexpected occurrences in my life. It's like thinking the whole evening is ruined if I forget to thaw the chicken for dinner of feeling like I'm a mess all day if the outfit I'd planned to wear isn't clean. Catastrophizing could be set in motion by getting an unexpected bill in the mail. It could begin upon receiving a text from a friend canceling plans. Perhaps a catastrophization trigger for you would be the difficult decision of choosing between two great job offers. Any one of these events can set off a chain reaction that results in catastrophizing that worsens depression.